How do I pick a donor?
by Dr Margaret Vereb
Medical Director Donor Match Me
Former Head of Fertility Services, Lahey Clinic
Selecting a sperm or egg donor is one of the more difficult decisions anyone could face. After all, this person will be contributing 50% of the child’s genetic traits, so how can one be sure they are choosing the right donor? While every person who selects a donor will do so using their own criteria, below is a list of common categories people may consider during their selection process.
1) PHYSICAL
The most common way to select a donor is by physical appearance. Studies have shown adults to be more emotionally invested in a child who resembles them, which is one of the leading motives behind searching for donors with similar features to the prospective parents. Donor banks and online donor databases allow users to sort donors by general physical characteristics, such as eye color, hair color, height etc., which narrows the available donor pool to a more manageable number. Some banks, in addition to written donor descriptions, will also furnish baby and/or adult photos of the donors, as well — though these are much less common in sperm donation than in egg donation. And now, through the use of advanced facial recognition software, prospective parents can use large online databases to automatically match their appearance with donor photos, ensuring a greater chance that the child will look more like them.
2) MEDICAL
This is one of the easiest of categories to include or eliminate a donor. Medical would include such issues as:
Blood Type: This relates to a decision to inform the child that they were conceived using donor gametes. For example, if the prospective parents choose a donor with a blood type different from their own and the baby receives the donor’s blood type, it is biologically impossible for those two intended parents to produce a baby with that blood type. Choosing to tell a child is a personal decision, but selecting a donor with a blood type the two parents could not possibly produce might force the issue.
Genetic Predisposition to Race Specific Diseases: Certain types of genetic diseases are inherited along ethnic lines (Tay-Sachs in people of Ashkenazi Jewish descent, Sickle Cell Anemia in people of African American descent, etc.). If you or your partner belong to a group that may include such risk factors, finding a donor without that risk factor could be important.
Family Medical History: Although most serious genetic conditions would disqualify a potential donor, if either parent are in a high-risk group for more common medical conditions (high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, etc.), there may be a wish to select a donor who does not have a family history of the same risk factors.
3) SOCIAL
There’s a vast list of possible social criteria for donor selection. It can encompass everything from personality to education to occupation and even personal interests. The importance for a donor to have certain characteristics in any of these criteria depends entirely on the potential parents. It’s important to also remember that, even if behavior, tastes, talents, etc. are genetic in nature, the donor is only supplying 50% of the genetic material. Knowing which social aspects of the donor and of the parent will be dominant or recessive is anyone’s guess, but being overly specific in this area can eliminate worthwhile donors and leave a smaller pool to choose from.
4) PRACTICAL
There are several “factual” aspects to donor selection that must be considered.
Cost: The cost of a donor can vary from bank to bank and sometimes even from donor to donor within the same bank.
Location: Sperm, usually cryogenically preserved, can be shipped anywhere and held indefinitely. Although frozen eggs are becoming more available, eggs are usually harvested and used right away. Since many programs require the egg donor and prospective parent be in proximity to one another, choices can sometimes be defined by geography.
Known vs Anonymous: A known donor is a donor willing to be contacted directly by the child or the parents. Known donors represent less than 5% of the current donor pool, so if having a known donor is something you would prefer, you may greatly limit the available donors from your pool of acceptable candidates.
Supply and Demand: Some prospective parents wish to use the same donor to conceive several children. In situations like these, the parents-to-be will often purchase the entire supply of a particular donor, or place the donor under contract. Donors can only be used so many times in one geographic area, which can sometimes make a desired donor unavailable.
Program Preference: Many fertility programs will suggest particular banks or have donors of their own that they will recommend. In most cases, the suggested banks are ones the program has had experience with in the past. If you suggest using a donor from another bank, 9 times out of 10 the fertility program will make the arrangements. The more banks involved in the search process the more donors prospective parents will have to choose from, which can only increase the odds of finding the “perfect match.”
The search for “the right donor” can take many forms. Most often, couples work together to establish their “perfect donor” criteria. While it’s important to have a list of desired donor qualities, it is equally important to remember that over specifying can be a problem. Being hyper-specific can eliminate too many donors, leaving prospective parents dissatisfied with their pool of available candidates. The recommended approach is to determine which qualities are a priority and which are just “nice to haves” before beginning the donor search. In doing so, prospective parents are able to keep a broader pool of potential donors. Another recommendation is to increase the search radius by browsing multiple banks or using online services that aggregate results from donors across the country. While finding the “perfect” match is never guaranteed, the chances are significantly increased by taking the steps listed above.
